S(h)elfish

I know I always say this… but man, what a week! I usually live by the 2:1 ratio – 2 action packed days followed by a rest day… Truth is, this originated as a 2 days/48 hours-max-of-pyjamas /robe-wearing-around-the-house-must-be-followed-by-a-day-of-something rule.


This past week has been action packed… Starting with Bastille Day!!! I went to the local annual festival held at S********. It was well worth the calorie banking… This year, I propositioned E to make it a Joint Family Venture.


I should have pictures for you… But in true Betty style, I was too busy stuffing my face. It was only on surfacing from my 4 hour post-prandial nap, I mulled over the day’s events and had an epic Homer Simpson “D’oh” moment. D’oh.


Don’t worry. Here’s a picture of me in the Dentist’s chair, paying for my sins.


My week’s stress, is owing to my  being plagued with the ” So, when are you going back to work?” Questions, Conversations, Phone Calls, Emails. AAAArrrgh. I suppose it put a lot of pressure on me. And I put a lot of pressure on me. As for Ben, Gums as usual.


This last weekend epitomised why we moved Down Under. We began our Saturday with a birthday party hosted by OI. OI is mother to S,12 days older than Bobby and J less than 24 hours older than Ben! Babycakes arranged our evening with the parents of ES at their own home.


Now girlies, I don’t know about you. But, I’m learning, that when Babycakes makes the dates, all bets are off… ie it’s a free-fall on what’s appropriate to bring. Initially, I made some yummy Butterscotch tea-biscuits because I thought this was an afternoon tea play date. On the way to the birthday party, Babycakes casually mentions that the parents of ES will be serving tacos… Tacos?! For afternoon tea? Novel idea… OR major mix up and its an Earlybird Dinner, in which case it’s more appropriate to have made a nice dessert!!!!


Talk about nerves!!! Much as I enjoyed the birthday party, I was mentally cataloging my pantry supplies, searching for a dessert I could whip up in the 3 hour window I had between engagements. This 3 hours, mind you, was suppose to cater for transportation time from the birthday party, allow me to Lunch the family (cooking, feeding/eating and tidy-up), whack on a load of Laundry AND transport family to said dinner….

Okay… Don’t know these folks…Yet… Chocolate – always a crowd-pleaser… So far, only allergies are in our family… No time to watch the oven…

#LIGHTBULB MOMENT!


OH MY, IT’S DOUBLE CHOCOLATE PUDDIN’ PIE

 

Please note, the title of this recipe must be said with as much of a Southern American drawl as you can (cattle) muster… (Yes. Put that one in your back pocket for Lame-joke Tuesday).

Also, this recipe is emblematic of all things Betty – rich, decadent, silky-smooth, sweet and unfortunately calorific.Requires restraint (on your part) and discipline (for you Dieting Dianas – cheat day!). Just go ahead and have the second slice.

 

I ended up taking the pie over unset, letting it chill(/set) in the fridge of our hosts. By the time the kids had played and we, the parents, had enjoyed a nice wine & chilli tasting, prepared, consumed and, washed down the tacos with more wine, the pie was ready.

As it was not my kitchen, the downside was my being unable to ceremoniously serve the pie. *sad face.I just spooned it on, forming soft peaks whacked it on top, hoped it looked rustic and served.


From the “mmm..”s around me, despite the poor presentation, it appeared to be well received.

Phew!


I have had enough conversations about my return to work in the last week to give me some clarity on the issue.


You know how they say “Family. Money. Career. You can’t have it all”? I finally realised why.


I can only speak for my profession. But, safe to say, it requires a lot of time. A LOT. And even more time outside of it. Getting published. Endless stream of exams. Community service/ volunteer work – CV building ( “character building” in the interview). Attending heaps of courses and or conferences. Getting a masters or even a PhD. Don’t forget schmoozing with people in the know to get the nod and where possible – the golden handshake.


All the while, working, trying to keep your little guys fed, housed, educated and shod in the manner you were. Or better. Just to give them a good chance at getting to your level.


Now even if I lived the sort of life where I could employ a retinue of people to take over the cooking, cleaning, laundering, chauffeuring, after-hours minding for and of my boys, as any good parent, I would still require a lot of time. Time to spend playing, crafting, undertaking outings to the park. Not to mention play-dating, meeting teachers, getting involved in school activities, attending recitals, etc.


Time I clearly would not have in great supply for my career. Oh yeah. The Boys. *face palm.


What people don’t ever say is that success requires you to be Selfish. I want you to Sell Fish? No. BE selfish. Selfishness.


Not Cruella De Vil proportions. Just the level to which you constantly put yourself first with singleminded determination. Above all else. Always. Period.


And then you look into the faces of the little people YOU CHOSE to bring into this world.

Explain that to them.

No?


Well then. Welcome aboard  Betty Airways. Time your trusty hostess, will kindly take your carefully packed cases of Career Aspirations. Please take your seat. Conscience our cordon bleu Culinary genius will be serving a beautifully prepared dish of Mommy-Guilt. Or if you prefer, our pilot Betty, highly recommends the Chateau de Patience to wash down your Ambitions as we coast over to Mediocre Compromise. For those of you in First Class, our team of expertly trained Nannies will cater to your little ones every whim. For the rest of you, going coach, Long Day-care is available to the rear of the aircraft from the hours of 07:00 till 18:00. Sharp.

With a boarding pass for coach, I think I’ll spend a little more time in Guilty Duty-free, Thank you… For a little while, anyways. There’s always Last Call…


Word(s) of the Day

Joint Family Venture –  Kind of like a play date. But families “play” together. Really, the moms and kids probably already do. It’s just a veiled attempt for us wives to watch our spouses suss each other out.

EarlyBird Dinner – Not what you think. Reserve that thought for my musings while I sit in God’s waiting room, *Please God (and sign of the cross), in another 100 years from now. No, it’s when families hang out with each other at home. The kids get served first and tidied away into a play area plus or minus a cheeky DVD playing. Parents will wine, dine and discuss. This wraps up around the neat hour of a 20:00 bedtime.

I’m Betty, and Butter is a story of a full-time suburban SAHM ( Stay-At-Home-Mom) who practices Medicine in her spare time. My life heavily revolves around Babycakes, my husband, Bobby and Ben, my children and an acerbic tongued pug D’Artagnan.

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