E had a little party for Baby Girl who turned 1 on Sunday.

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I had a lot of anxiety about getting her a doll as a present. You never knew these days, with the whole gender-neutral movement how a little piece of plastic with hair could be so offensive.

This is the doll I got.


Along with a gift receipt and a pearl headband and another gift, just in case they were one of those parents raising a daughter, at least she would get something I actually chose.

E thought it was hilarious! So I think Baby Girl gets a doll from us.

NP, formerly a nurse practitioner is now a personal trainer. She is now responsible for kicking my butt into Brazilian shape. I had laughingly told her all my previous Trainer, Mary’s, trials and tribulations as well as somehow giving her carte blanche over my Flab-ulousness. It’s amazing how stupid I get soaked in a good pinot noir.


Fast forward to earlier today now she’s knocking on the door, “Betty! Open the door, I know you’re home! Yes, Betty, I know you’re in there, hiding behind the sofa.”…. I wasn’t hiding behind the sofa… Just hiding evidence of last night’s debauchery – Lemon Meringue Pie. and Lemon & Poppy Seed Butter cake… Yes I know I have a problem, but there you are eating it all right beside me!



I have created a Monster! (NP not the Pie)

How about you? Any new health kicks on your horizon? Did you make any fatal errors over wine during the holidays?

xx B

PS: I cook with wine ( you will notice my little red friend in the lemon meringue recipe photos)… sometimes I add a little to the sauce, ha!



Serene thought Betty was full of it. The woman could cook, though.

As she careful locked the screen of her phone, Serene glanced up to ensure no one had noticed she was not oooh-ing and aah-ing over the bride-to-be as she opened her gifts. Serene was bored. She stifled a yawn and adjusted her skirt. A hint of red suspenders had dared to peak out from under her white skirt. Only a squigillion more gifts to go. Sigh.

Unlike most of the other women around her, Serene was born and raised suburbia. Her parents still lived together, very un-happily married in the house Serene had grown up in. Her brother – still in the closet, wore cravats and portrayed himself as a hopeless romantic still desperately searching for his Juliette… Well, let’s just leave it there. You get the idea.

Serene twirled the pearls around her neck. You know when they say which of these birds is not like the other one? That”s how Serene would describe herself.

When she was growing up the Mamas of the crowd she hung with always treated her like she was trouble with a capital T. “Spirited” was how they spoke of her. Serene, never understood why. She was definitely not a part of the fast set, and had little time for anything other than what lay between the leaves of the classics she buried her head in daily.

All of society was agog that she had been the first to marry among her set, ahead of all the other so-called wives-in waiting that were still very much waiting. Serene’s mother had crowed.

Yes, Serene had gone to college, married the right boy from the right family with a bright future, produced the required 2 children – a boy and a girl, and of course, got the house, the car and the china pattern.

Serene looked up at Kim, the bride-to be. A long time childhood friend, for years, they had laughed over Kim’s dating antics and rather open-minded of Serene, it included Kim’s hi-jinx with Serene’s first boyfriend. So open-minded, that it was this same Kim who had sided with Serene’s former best friend, a girl with whom the said boyfriend had cheated on Serene with, terminating the relationship. Serene felt it was better the devil she knew.

But a couple months ago, Kim had announced her engagement to Phil. No whirlwind romance, just a few video-calls, the my family-your family pedigree check, one meet-and-greet and an engagement ring. Standard courtship for this crowd.

Kim, now more virgin than the Virgin Mary herself, in the last phone conversation one joking reference to Kim’s past was met with accusations castigating Serene as being “judgemental”, Ha!

No, Kim it seemed was just setting the tone. From now on, it seemed she intended to take a place as a matron of society – more staid and stoic than staid and stoic. A tasteful afternoon tea for the ladies, cigars and brandies for the boys next door. And this was just the bridal shower/ stag do. Serene felt she was already being choked by the cloying floral scent that was sure to follow…

While the celebration of this marriage, it would also mark the end of a friendship between Serene and Kim. They would probably wave at each other from across the room at christenings and dinner parties thrown by mutual friends, but the late night girly chats were at an end.

She wore the pearls and hosted the tea parties with the best of them, a lady like any other, but Serene was different.

Time to make her excuses and head home. The handcuffs were still in the dishwasher and the maid was due soon.

It had taken a while but when Serene finally got it and embraced it, she felt she finally fit in her own skin.

Koko Taylor sang Voodoo Woman, and it was for Serene. Those hips and eyes, yes, those disapproving Mamas that wanted to keep their baby boys from Siren Serene, be damned.




I’m Betty, and Butter is a story of a full-time suburban SAHM ( Stay-At-Home-Mom) who practices Medicine in her spare time. My life heavily revolves around Babycakes, my husband, Bobby and Ben, my children and an acerbic tongued pug D’Artagnan.

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