Jada Pinkett-Smith’s interview (see previous post) was thought provoking and it made me think about how as wives and mothers we unconditionally give and too often forget about ourselves. The take home message for me was happy wife/partner/mother = happy life! But can we be “happy” if we forget to look after ourselves?
It made me reflect – 2015 was filled with the rare attempted date night (imagine food poisoning, falling asleep within 5 minutes of the movies commencing etc… you get the picture… attempted!), school, work deadlines and driving mum’s taxi. But where in the mix was I? I became the all-encompassing “giver” with apparent (alleged?) superwoman powers; everyone else’s needs were met except mine.
The day I cracked an egg into the garbage bin instead of the bowl while making lunch made me realise I had forgotten the first rule of airline travel; secure your oxygen mask before you help anyone else, including children. I had forgotten to look after myself, which left me exhausted, unhappy and unable to function properly, like a ghost of my former pre-child self. How effective a wife, mother and worker was I right now? I had to reevaluate my life.
Jada Pickett-Smith wisely said “…you better make sure you take care of yourself” and that is exactly what I am going to do in 2016! As my children’s number one role model I want to teach them how to look after yourself so that you can be the best you can be.
Ladies, here are some things that we can do to start looking after ourselves and bring happiness into our lives. Shake off any guilt and remember happy wife/partner/mother = happy life!
Take a bath
Run a bath, pour a glass of your favourite drop, light candles and/or an oil burner with essential oils and soak. Ask your Babycakes to look after the kids with strict instructions that you are not to be disturbed and take a leisurely long soak. Ladies, this is like chicken soup for the soul!
Go to a day spa
Book a manicure, pedicure, facial and/or a massage and have guilt free you time! You will feel more relaxed and the special time for you is essential for reframing your mind.
So I could practice what I preach, I paused while writing this article and had a massage. It was sensational, luxurious and the first time in twelve months that I felt relaxed. Decedent?… Yes… Worth it?… Absolutely!! I slept like a baby that night and amazingly I still feel less stressed. I will definitely be booking another one soon – my Babycakes insists!! Happy wife = happy life!!
Talk to a friend
Meet a friend for a coffee, wine, lunch or dinner date and have some girly time. Don’t forget to leave the kids at home – get a baby sitter if necessary. Talk, laugh and enjoy!
Go and have a coffee
Ask Babycakes to watch the kids and go get a coffee and drink the whole thing, uninterrupted. Take your favourite book or magazine or just sit and watch the world go by.
Buy a bunch of flowers for yourself
Have you ever bought yourself a bunch of flowers? Go out and splash out and try it at least once!!
Go for a long walk, ride a bike, swim or go to the gym. Why not try yoga, pilates, zumba or dance classes? I love going for a walk and love dancing around the lounge room to my favourite tunes.
Every morning wake up a little bit early and take the time to breathe deeply. Reflect on all that is good and have a list of positive proclamations. Remember you are an awesome wife and mum.
Listen to your favourite music
Put on your favourite music and enjoy. Belt out those tunes from your teenage and pre-children years!
Ask for help
We all too often try to be all things to all people, all at the same time. We tend to think that accomplishing this demonstrates strength and competence. Don’t forget that asking for help also demonstrates these things. The judicious involvement of grandparents (or equivalent) in the daily grind will strengthen their relationship with the kids, give them an understanding of your daily reality and hopefully take some load off you. It may also give you the opportunity to do some of the things above, and may even strengthen your relationship with them.
I have a right to be happy and so do you! Put your thinking caps on Ladies and tell me, what will you do in 2016 to help to look after you? Share your ideas and lets commit to each other that we will look after ourselves in 2016 and be the best that we can be! Remember Happy Wife = Happy Life!!
Just in case you missed it – here is Jada!